


It's Not Your Fault [Whumptober 2020]

by chemically_imbalanced_romance



Series: Whumptober 2020/Cult AU [19]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cults, Gaslighting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manipulation, Multi, Other, Sleepwalking, Survivor Guilt, implied suicidal thoughts past and present, let me know if I missed anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:08:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27109270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chemically_imbalanced_romance/pseuds/chemically_imbalanced_romance
Summary: [Whumptober 2020 Day 19; Cult AU] Logan feels guilty.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Whumptober 2020/Cult AU [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947007
Comments: 7
Kudos: 55
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	It's Not Your Fault [Whumptober 2020]

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: No. 19: Broken Hearts [Survivor’s Guilt]

_ October 19th. 10:34 pm.  _

__ Logan threw himself out of bed before he was awake. 

He was halfway down the stairs when Roman grabbed his arm. Roman gently tugged him back upstairs. 

“What are you doing, I have to-”

“You don’t have to do anything, Lo. You’re sleepwalking.” 

Logan followed him helplessly back to bed, confusion clouding his mind as he tried to orient himself. Patton sat up with the covers around his waist, frowning in concern. He opened his arms and Logan fell into them, curled up in his lap. Roman climbed into bed after him and pulled Logan’s bottom half into his lap. 

“Janus,” he gasped, his chest so tight it hurt, “Janus is back there.”

“We know, sweetie.” Patton ran his fingers through his hair. He looked to Roman, eyes shiny. Roman shook his head and silently kissed Patton’s cheek. “We’re going to get him back, though. It’s not your fault.”

“It is. It is.” Logan gripped Patton’s leg hard enough to hurt, pressing his face into the denim. “I wasn’t supposed to come, if I’d stayed behind-”

“We’d be heartbroken,” Roman said. “We were  _ so happy _ when you changed your mind, and we still are.”

“It’s not your fault they caught up with us, and it’s not your fault Janus got taken.”

“I insisted we stop. If we hadn’t-”

“Then they’d have caught up with us later down the line,” Patton finished. 

Roman nodded. “Or ran us off the road. They’d clearly been on our tail the entire time. We didn’t shake them like we thought we did. It was only a matter of time.” 

“But if I hadn’t left the motel, Janus wouldn’t have been left alone.” 

“We all left him alone.” Patton pursed his lips and squeezed his eyes shut as they filled with tears. His voice came out thick. “We  _ all _ did, Logan. You were just trying to get us food. It’s  _ not your fault.”  _

Logan cried quietly, his chest contracting enough to cut off his breathing. Roman pulled him up and took his glasses off, wiping his eyes. 

“You have to breathe,” he insisted, meeting Logan’s squinted eyes. “It wasn’t your fault, and you have to breathe. We’ll get Janus back. I promise.” 

“We have to start looking  _ now _ .”

Patton shook his head and hugged Logan from behind. “No. You were right. It’s not safe. We have to do this right.” 

“That’s bullshit!” He snapped, chest shaking with sobs. “It’s our fault, we don’t deserve to be careful about it, we just have to do it!” 

They shook their heads firmly.  _ “No,”  _ Roman insisted. “Do you think that’s what Janus wants? For us to run in there without a plan and end up shackled beside him?” 

Logan buried his face in Roman’s shoulder and cried harder. “I just can’t do it anymore! He  _ saved _ us, and it’s my fault he’s in there, if I can’t help him, what good am I?”

“Stop that,” Patton whispered, hugging him tighter. “Don’t you dare start that.” 

Logan fell silent to his sobs, but Roman and Patton knew the urge wouldn’t go away that easily. It never had before. 

“Everything will be okay,” Patton whispered. 

“It’s not your fault.” 


End file.
